FITNESS Friday: The Ultimate Guide To Weight Loss
Before we get started. And where do we go wrong?
Before We Get Started
I'm going to let you in on a big secret to motivation. You don't need to get motivated - you're already motivated.
It's just that sometimes we can be more motivated to eat desserts than vegetables or watch a TV show than exercise.
The issue isn't getting motivated, it's figuring out how to redirect where our current motivation lies.
What motivates us are three basic things: Pain, pleasure, and love. While having an unhealthy body can cause physical pain and being in great shape can cause physical pleasure, for the most part with health and fitness, it's more about psychological pain and pleasure.
Everything you do, healthy or not, stems from the fact that psychologically it is meeting one of your six human needs. Those needs are certainty/security, variety/excitement, love/connection, significance/control, growth, and contribution. Meet these needs and feel pleasure. Don't meet them and feel pain.
The reason why it's hard for people to give up their favorite foods and old habits is because those habits meet one or more of those six human needs. That means if you want to get more motivated to do something else like eat healthier and exercise, you'll need to mentally connect the dots of how those new behaviors (and the outcomes like a more fit body) will also satisfy those emotional needs to an equal or greater extent.
Write down all the short term and long term problems (pains) with continuing to engage in an undesired behavior. (Eating junk food, not exercising, etc.)
Examples of these problems could be lacking energy, disease and sickness, or weight gain. It's also critical to ask why those things would be a problem. This could mean not being there for one's family, not being able to pursue a passion, or feeling out of control of one's life.
Write down all the short term and long term benefits (pleasures) with engaging in a desired behavior. (Eating healthier, exercising, etc.)
Examples of these benefits could be more energy, a sexy body, fewer aches and pains, not having to take prescription drugs, etc.
It's also critical to ask why you want those things, until you tap into how they meet your needs for more certainty, variety, connection, significance, contribution, and/or growth.
For instance, a person that is very family oriented may connect eating healthier with being a better spouse and parent by improving their health, living longer, and setting a good example. This would meet their connection, certainty, and contribution needs.
It's important to keep asking “why?” for every reason you can come up with for wanting your goals, until you hit upon a reason that truly moves you and fills you with passion.
For instance, if someone is considering why they want to eat better, they may say: “To be healthier” “Why do I want to be healthier?” “So I don't die an early death.” “Why am I worried about an early death?” “Because if I don't eat healthier, my doctor says I'm on a fast track to heart disease and that means I won't get to see my kids graduate and get married. I can't stand the thought of not being there for my family.”
People who make great changes to their body and their lives don't do so because they just “kind of felt like it.” They make great changes because they reached a tipping point where they realized it was too painful, or would be too painful to remain the same.
They had a huge reason why, and you must keep asking yourself why you want to be more healthy and fit, until you come up with reasons that inspire a burning passion to take control of your habits.
Doing this exercise is powerful in itself, but I've found a way that helps me remember my motivations day in and day out when various temptations pop up.
That is by asking myself an empowering question in the form of “would I rather...”
Let's say I see some ice cream at the store and am tempted to buy it. I would simply ask myself “would I rather eat this ice cream and feel like crap by depressing my immune system with massive amounts of sugar and adding fat to my body OR would I rather buy some fruit to satisfy my sweet tooth and feel good about myself knowing that I am giving my body the nutrients it needs while maintaining a lean physique?”
The most powerful force for more motivation is hardest to teach, but will provide guaranteed success. That is the force of genuine love for others and yourself. I'm not talking about a "touchy feely" sort of love, nor the egotistical self-love of narcissism. This is genuine care and concern for the wellbeing of others as well as yourself. When one has emotionally connected how being more healthy and fit will allow them to better express love for themselves and others, there is no other emotional force strong enough to stop it when it's at its strongest.
Some things you can ask yourself to tap into this feeling are "How will being in better shape help me better care for others?" "What will happen to those that I care about if I'm not as healthy as I could be?" "Can I allow myself to feel as much love as possible right now and to experience how taking better care of my body will let me express this love to myself and others even more?"
Where Do We Go Wrong
What either causes or aggravates almost every single disease?
I'll give you a hint: it's not a poor diet, lack of exercise, or having “bad” genetics.
To make matters worse, failure to take care of this one thing will also lead to reduced willpower, a depressed immune system, and a general lack of happiness even if one does reach their fitness goals.
That one thing is excess stress (or prolonged negative emotions). While a little bit of stress is beneficial (think exercise), too much stress creates a series of conditions in the body that lead to disease, aging, and even gaining stubborn belly fat due to excess cortisol. It saps the body of energy, and it leads to feelings of being overwhelmed.
The thing is, every new action a person takes on will create a bit of a stress response. Under healthy conditions, this is easily managed and beneficial. But when a person is stressed out with work, family, and other commitments, something as simple as changing one's lunch or starting an exercise routine can be all it takes for the body to say “no more!”
If you've ever had times in your life where you welcomed challenges and felt like you can take on the world, this is the natural willpower and strength that resides in you when it's not being sapped dealing with too many daily stressors.
If you don't feel like you have that kind of willpower right now, don't worry. It's not necessarily because you're inherently weak willed. It's more likely because you're either physically, emotionally, or psychologically stressed out.
Many of the tips that follow will help make the process of staying healthy and fit less stressful, but what about the current stress that's in your life?
There are four big things that have dramatically reduced stress in my life. The next three tips on sleep, meditation, and mindfulness are critical for stress management, but this tip I'm about to share with you is quite possibly the easiest and yet most overlooked way of reducing stress.
Before I learned this, I oftentimes used to find myself feeling overwhelmed with all of the things I needed to do. It was like my brain was overflowing with racing thoughts, trying to hold onto everything until I reached points where I would simply sit back, watch TV, and do nothing because as soon as I thought about the things I had to do, I would be so overwhelmed it was paralyzing.
That is until I threw out my to-do list, and made a priority list.
The method of prioritization I use is simple.
Write down everything you want and need to do. Simply getting it on paper reduces the mental clutter because it allows you to not have to worry about forgetting anything.
Write down what is most important for the short term, i.e. your short term goals. This obviously should include your physical fitness and health goals.
Write down weekly and daily action steps that must be done to reach those goals. For me, this is typically only 2-4 things per day on a dry-erase board I keep on my desk in constant sight. Everything I have to do during the day is secondary to those things. For example: “Exercise for 30 minutes;” “Cook a vegetable stew.”
I suggest taking care of these things, when at all possible, before anything else that is secondary.
For some, this could mean exercising first thing in the morning before other distractions can get in the way. And when a priority doesn't get done on a day, it is rescheduled if at all possible, or additional effort is made later in the week to compensate. This isn't always possible, but it is a good thing to strive for.
The big thing with stress reduction is when going about my day, and my mind starts to race with thoughts of things that were priorities, but not priorities right now, I make a note to take care of them later.
Remember that while you can't handle everything, you can handle anything one thing at a time.
Continuing Challenge:
I’ve been posting my weight at the end of each week’s FITNESS Friday article and will continue to do so each Friday until I achieve my goal weight. The intent is to accomplish two things: 1) It will serve to hold me accountable. And 2) It will show you that you’re not alone, that we’re all fighting the same battle.
Weight as of January 10, 2025 is 210 lbs. weight of January 3, 2025 is 210 lbs. Still holding steady despite missing a few workouts…Life happens that way sometimes. I did complete a Murph in 49 minutes 30 seconds yesterday achieving my goal of doing one in under 50 minutes. The new goal is to complete one in under 45 minute. It’s ambitious, but a little ambition never hurt anyone. Still pushing for 205 lbs.
dhf
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