Improve Your Relationship With Yourself
Focus on all that is great about you.
With life being so busy, it is more imperative than ever to begin taking care of yourself. Though a bubble bath or a deep tissue massage is nice for relaxing, the most important part of yourself is your mind. In fact, a recent study conducted by Birchbox.com reported, “74 percent of people consider self-care to mean taking care of their bodies, while 57 percent think it means taking a mental break.”
While screen time seems to be one of the most used self-care actions, it is the personal rewards that keep yourself healthy and focused.
Let us look at the top five ways that you can become your own best advocate starting today:
Acknowledge what you can control – Though it is impossible to predict the future, it is possible to determine certain activities that will occur tomorrow, like career obligations or doctors’ appointments. By addressing each task that needs to be done, you give your mind a chance to overcome the anxiety and stress of unknown actions.
Keep a schedule planner handy. Write down all the activities that you have planned for the next day, including necessary errands. If you find that all the things you have on your schedule are overtaxing your time, re-schedule some engagements. Make sure to include down time for nutrition and needed exercising.
Switch things up – When we feel overwhelmed by the monotony of everyday schedules, our minds become complacent and bored. A recent study conducted by Washington State University studied how the human mind reacts to boredom. “Among the findings, those who experience boredom more often tend to have more anxiety and are more prone to depression.” Instead of continually falling victim to tedious moments, give yourself something new to focus on.
While you may be dreaming of a tropical vacation, sometimes a small road trip is just what you need. If you like to walk, plan your destinations around hiking areas such as the mountains or the beach. Choose different places to go every month. This gives your mind and body something to focus on with excitement and vigor.
Write down your feelings – As a teenager, did you keep a diary? Did you fill its pages with who you had a crush on or what teacher drove you crazy? At the time, it was one of the most important items you owned and your best kept secret. As an adult, it is harder to find the time to express those emotions in a healthy way. Instead, reestablish the habit and reach for your little book again.
Try writing down your day one moment at a time. Express how long it took you to overcome the occasion. Also include how you are feeling at the end of the day. At the end of the week, go back over your entries. Do you see a pattern emerging, such as high anxiety in your mornings? Focus on addressing those feelings and how it will benefit you tomorrow.
Learning to say no more often – Peer pressure can weigh heavily on a person’s emotions. It is in our human nature to want to please others. The need for acceptance often outweighs our own self-gratitude. Instead of focusing on obtaining their satisfactions, focus on your own contentment.
The next time your boss asks you to stay late to complete a job on time, tell them no. Explain that your evenings are for your family and friends, and find that coming in early would be more beneficial for both parties. Keep it professional and short. Then, go home, enjoy your night, and come back tomorrow with refreshed vigor.
Quit comparing your life to others – This is often the hardest to overcome. We are taught from a very young age to compare ourselves to others. The little girl that’s more popular or the boy who is the captain of the basketball team, all play into our psyche. This pattern often continues into adulthood. We wish for bigger homes, fancier cars and exotic travels. But this is not the reality. Those expensive goals are just that…things.
Make a mental list of all the things you need, not want. Housing, food, and health are three big factors. Do you have each of those in your life? Are there categories you would like to reach bigger goals from? Do yourself a favor and give yourself the gift of time to reach that reward. In time, you will notice that your life really is comfortable and healthy instead of downtrodden with sadness.
In Closing
Focusing on self-connection will result in bringing you closer to others while establishing more meaningful relationships, as you will be more approachable and trustworthy. Remind yourself everyday why you like who you are now and who you strive to become tomorrow. As famed British psychologist, Robert Holden, once said, “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for ever other relationship you have.”
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