Rid Yourself Of Regrets
How letting go Unlocks a brighter Future
Living with regret can be hard. As you’ll see, people come to have regrets for a variety of reasons. Regret also affects people in different ways; some good, some bad. Understanding how to use regret to your advantage is a skill that anyone can master. On the flip side, there are also things to keep in mind as you move on from the negativity of regret.
Why Do We Regret?
There are several factors that play into a person’s regrets, according to Psychology Today. Here’s what we know:
Men and women tend to regret different things. This could be due to lifestyle and value differences.
People tend to have more regrets when they live in cultures with greater emphasis on personal choice.
People have different types of regrets when looking back on long-term versus short-term decisions.
The likelihood of regret increases when it’s easy to envision a different outcome.
What Do We Regret?
People can have a variety of regrets throughout their lifetime. A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin looked at categories of the biggest regrets among Americans (“What We Regret Most … and Why,” Roese & Summerville). Top categories included:
Education
Career
Romance
Parenting
Self
Benefits of Regret
Regret doesn’t necessarily need to be a bad thing. A study published in Motivation and Emotion examined opinions of negative emotions and found that regret was the most favorable in terms of the hidden benefits that it offers (“Praise for regret: People value regret above other negative emotions,” Saffrey et al.). The benefits of having regrets include:
Better understanding of the world
Avoiding negative actions in the future
Gaining insight
Maintaining social harmony
Increased likelihood of attempting desired opportunities
The key is maintaining balance. You don’t want to lose sight of your regrets completely, but you don’t want them to rule your life either.
How to Let Go of Regrets
Letting go of regrets is a process that takes time. It may be difficult at times but it’s important to keep pushing forward. Here are some tips to keep in mind throughout the process.
1. Be Patient with Yourself
Again, this will take time. You can almost think of healing from regret as going through the grief cycle. For most people, it isn’t a linear path. One day you may feel perfectly fine and, the next, it may seem like it’s all you can think about. That is perfectly okay, as long as you keep making progress forward in the long-term.
2. See the Silver Lining
Like the study mentioned above, there are numerous benefits to having regrets in your life. Use it to your advantage. Perhaps you missed out on a job opportunity because you were fearful of change. Use this regret to challenge yourself to try new things.
3. Make Peace with Your Past
Accept your past for what it is. You cannot change the past, so there’s no sense in dwelling on the “what ifs.” This is also an important step in forgiving yourself. Unfortunately, many people blame themselves fully in situations, even when there are factors outside of their control. Accept and forgive your actions or inactions. Release the grip on thoughts about what you should have done.
4. Take Reasonable Risks Going Forward
This goes along with challenging yourself to try new opportunities. Of course, you don’t want to go on the opposite end of the spectrum and start taking risks with dire consequences. But you can use your regret to challenge your comfort zone. For example, when someone invites you to try something you’ve never done before, take the chance instead of allowing fear of the unknown to control your decision.
5. Visualize the Healing Process
You can absolutely manifest your way into healing from regret. Believe that you can and envision what that will look like once you’re free from the negativity. Set future goals for yourself and focus your energy toward that.
Source Links
https://centerstone.org/our-resources/health-wellness/how-to-forgive-yourself-and-let-go-of-regrets/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2394712/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2413060/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201205/the-psychology-regret
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understand-other-people/201704/letting-go-regrets
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If you liked this, take a look at my article entitled, “Forgiving Yourself is Possible” at: https://www.theunreliablemind.com/blog/learn-to-just-let-it-go
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