Self Care Ideas During Times of Grief

Address the pain, don't avoid it

Someone once said that self-care is a lot like taking vitamins or flossing. You know you should do it, but most of us just don’t. Or at least not on a regular basis.

We’re stressed, tired, and overwhelmed with responsibilities at home and work. Plus, because you’re reading this, there’s also a good chance that you’re going through a period of grief.

Even if someone close to you has been suffering from some sort of sickness before passing on, it always seems that death comes in an instant, turning everyone’s lives upside down.

Initially, you won’t have time to take everything in. Those first few days are full of preparations, like funeral arrangements, eulogies, managing family out of town family members, and other distractions.

Moreover, at some point, you’re going to have to face reality. Then, once the loss really hits home, it can be too much to bear.

You try to reach out, and you find out the hard way that people don’t like being around you when you’re sad. They don’t do it out of spite; they just don’t know how to help.

So, they avoid the topic altogether, which leaves the bereaved in a feedback loop of feeling isolated then sad which causes more isolation and sadness, and so on.

The good news is that there are numerous ways that self-care ideas can help you during times of grief. But because everyone deals with grief, sadness, and loss in their own way, we rounded up five primary ways to take care of yourself during times of mourning.

Before we start, it’s important to mention that self-care isn’t selfish. Nor does it mean disrespecting the deceased in any way.

It’s simply learning how to embrace the grief and push through the pain. But, at the same time, without letting yourself succumb to unhealthy or destructive behaviors or habits.

Rumi once said, “The cure for pain is in the pain.” In other words, grief is all about addressing the pain, not avoiding it. Self-care can help you transition through this difficult period in your life while promoting your physical, mental, and emotional health.

Spend Time With Others

Experts say the number one self-care idea during times of grief is to surround yourself with people who are close to you, people who genuinely care about you.

If you can’t be with them physically, technology has you covered. You can video call via Skype or Zoom and watch a movie together virtually just as a way to feel comforted by their presence.

Video calling not an option? Then the next best thing would be a regular phone call. Ask them to listen as you vent if that’s what you need to do.

If you don’t feel like talking, then ask them to tell you about their day. Just listening to the details of their lives can help calm down the thoughts swirling around in your head. Additionally, it can help get your mind off your sadness.

However, it’s worth noting that some people may not want to intrude on your time of bereavement and sorrow. So, don’t mistake their manners for lack of love for you or disrespect.

Gather your courage and call a friend or text, “Are you free for lunch or coffee?” Think of it as a gentle reminder to let others know you’re okay with going out and being in the company of friends and family.

Go Outside

Find a bench in the park and just sit. You don’t have to do anything but enjoy the smells and sounds around you. Look up at the clouds, listen to the birds chirping, and watch the branches swaying in the breeze. Let your mind wander as you think about anything you want or nothing at all.

Nature has this way of relieving stress and anxiety while allowing us to feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. In fact, numerous studies have proven that being around nature regularly can help reduce blood pressure, stress, and anxiety.

The Japanese seem to have understood the importance of being close to nature as far back as the 1980s. This realization caused them to create a type of psychological exercise, which they call shinrin-yoku or ‘forest bathing.’

This type of therapy is where participants spend time in a forest. They can either walk around, sit, or even lie down on the ground and enjoy all that nature has to offer.

However, you don’t have to ‘bathe’ in the forest to enjoy its benefits. If you’re up to it, you can go hiking or biking. It’ll give you a chance to get your mind off your grief. But, more importantly, you’ll get a good stress-relieving workout and stimulate the release of feel-good hormones in the process.

Start Journaling

Writing has been hailed as one of the top self-care ideas ever! Whether you’re going through stress, depression, or grief, writing is how you gain perspective on your thoughts and emotions.

Some people like to journal by writing notes and letters to their loved ones who have passed on. This is a great way to work through your pain rather than avoid it. Plus, it helps bring closure, which is an essential part of the grieving process.

Alternatively, other people prefer to just let their stream of consciousness take over and simply jot down the thoughts that pop up in their heads. Then, when they read it back to themselves, they’re able to reframe their thought process and gain a clearer perspective on life.

Seeing your thoughts from a different viewpoint allows you to be less critical of yourself. As a result, you become kinder and more empathetic with yourself, which enables you to be your number one supporter and advocate.

That’s all the encouragement you need to move forward. And, slowly but surely, life will start returning back to normal.

Watch Or Read Something Funny

Reading is a great way to take your mind off things for a while, which can be incredibly helpful when dealing with grief and sadness. For example, some people read books about death and losing loved ones, while others read non-fiction books about grief itself.

There’s also lots of research that reveals that reading a funny book can help alleviate some of your negative feelings and ease some of your sorrow.

If you can’t get yourself to pick up a book and read, then watch a funny sitcom. For some reason, shows that make us laugh seem to be comforting and take us to simpler times.

“When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.” (Anonymous)

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If you like this content, check out my article on how to overcome difficult times at: https://www.theunreliablemind.com/blog/overcome-difficult-times

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